14 March 2010

Well...

"I was just walking down the street and this guy called me over from his van... I was just down to the shops..."

"What did you do?"

"He looked alright and, y'know... it was the middle of day in the middle of High Street... so I walked over to say hi. Can't hurt to say hi, right?"

"No, can't hurt..."

"So I walk over to where the van is parked, making sure not to get too close, just in case..."

"Yeah, can't be too careful, even if yer just saying hi..."

"Exactly."

"So... is he cute? Did he ask you out?"

"He says he's doing a documentary film on Irish girls and wanted to know if I'd want to help."

"No fucking way! You? A film star?"

"D'you want me to tell you about this or are you gonna continue yer shite?"

"(laughter) sorry... please continue..."

"He says he's doing a film and offers me €2000 to help him with it."

"You could use the money..."

"Yes, I could use the money... he says it'll be all craic and the pay is cash..."

"That much cash? How long d'ya got to wait for it?"

"He's got it with him! He showed it to me. I'm really thinking about doing it."

"What's to fucking think about?"

"Well..."

"What?"

"We got to talking, and I asked him what exactly I needed to do in this film for €2000. I mean, I can't speak for everyone, but that's quite a lot of money to me, and to be offered that kind of money... well, I need to know."

"Well...?"

"He didn't answer me at first, but started asking all sorts of personal questions... y'know... what I like for sex... how often I do it..."

"No fucking way! You got out of there, right?"

"Not exactly..."

"What do you mean? You're not still there?"

"Yeah... I am. I'm sitting in the passenger side of his van. You see... I really could use the money."

"You're not going to fuck some random tosser and let 'im spooge all over you like in them web videos... are you?"

"That was the idea... at first. But I did some negotiating..."

"You're not doing two guys!"

"Fun to watch, but no. They don't have any women with women..."

"You..."

"He'll double the money... I'm holding it right now..."

"You really..."

"I really need the money and... the more I think about it, the more it turns me on... I really want to do this... with you.... please..."

"I... um..."

"Just say yes! Please!"

"This sounds..."

"I'll say it as plain as I can... Will you please have hot, naked, lesbian sex with me in the back of a grungy van on film for €2000 each?"