05 June 2011

Her Confession

"I'm so glad you're home," she smiled, looking deep into his eyes. "You've been away so long..."

"I know, Love, and I hate being away from you for weeks on end," he gently kissed the top of her head as they cuddled in the back of the taxi on the way home from the station.

The next few miles were travelled in silence, happy to again be in each other's arms. But her happiness was tempered with her need to tell him... to tell him of what she had done while he was away. Would he... could he forgive her? Or would he turn his back and shun her? The anxiety of her sin was becoming overwhelming, but she didn't want to tell him in the back of a taxi. Over a drink? A nice cup of tea, perhaps?

"Do you love me?" she asked.

His genuine smile lit up her entire universe. "Only forever," was his reply.

They disembarked from the taxi and climbed the few stairs up to the entry of their modest townhouse, she helping with the lighter of his bags. Once inside, they set the bags on the floor and embraced, shortly followed by increasingly passionate kisses. She could feel his excitement through his trousers and pushed herself closer to him, grinding herself on him as they continued to kiss. She had wanted... no needed to taste him... to feel him inside her for weeks, and she was positively soaked with desire for him.

But she had to tell him...

She broke the kiss and held him to her as close as she could, hearing and feeling his thunderous heartbeat in his chest. If she could hold him any closer they'd be one in the same.

"Do you do this with all the boys you bring home?"

Her own guilt made her feel accused instead of taking it as the joke intended. "Why not? You were off fucking a string of bimbos and groupies on tour..."

"Well, now that you mention it, there was one girl in Cardiff..." again, he was joking.

She pushed him away from her so hard that he almost fell over, her wide eyes quickly tearing with guilt and fear and...

"I thought we was playing, Love! The only sex I've had for the past eleven weeks is me own left hand and that darling video you made for me! That's it! On my soul, that's truly it!"

She burst into tears and held him so close he could barely breathe. "You've just been gone so fucking long," she sobbed into his chest. "In a band... on tour... all those women..."

He held her close and softly stroked her hair, allowing her to cry herself out, shushing her softly. "You know I wouldn't tour at all if the label didn't press us to. I don't want all the rest of that. The stage time playing is great, but the rest of touring is pure shite..." he chuckled to himself. "Actually, it would have to get a whole lot better to measure up to pure shite..."

She really wasn't paying attention to what he was saying, she was so very happy to have him back home. Yet her mind kept reminding her of where her loneliness had led her... the pleasure she'd felt and the things she'd done. She couldn't tell if she felt guilty because she had done it, or that she'd enjoyed it so very much.

She released her hold on him and stepped back. She smiled, but her tear streaked face could no longer hide the pain she was struggling with. And he saw it.

"I'm thirsty," she said, and turned to go to the kitchen. Without turning back to face him, she asked, simply, "you?"

"I could use some water, I suppose," he said, shaking his head in confusion to the most recent events.

"Go and sit down, I'll bring it to you," she called from the kitchen.

He stepped into the lounge, removed his coat and then pulled his shirt from the waistband of his trousers. He gave a quizzical look in the direction of the kitchen. She'd been gone more than long enough to retrieve a couple of bottles of water from the fridge. He was just about to walk to the kitchen to see what the trouble was when she emerged carrying two bottles of water. For some reason unknown to him, though something he was truly grateful for, she'd decided to take off all of her clothes before bringing the water.

"I like your new outfit," he smiled as he sat on the couch.

"This old thing?" she managed a smile as she handed him the water bottle. "I've had this for years."

"Well, I never grow tired of it," he smiled again, reaching for her.

She sat in the chair opposite the couch.

"Whatever is troubling you, you know you can tell me. Though it is a bit difficult to pay attention to much else when you're sitting there so beautifully naked."

Smiling, she took a deep breath. "For some reason, I felt like this would show I've nothing to hide..." she fidgeted with her water bottle. "You know I love you..."

"I've never doubted... not once... not ever."

She smiled and wiped her tear streamed face, with a needed, yet quite unsexy sniffle.

"What's wrong?"

"I thought I could do it... I thought I could handle your... your... your not being here," she sobbed into her hand. "We talked every day, and that was so good... but... but... fuck!"

"It's alright, really... take your time... I'm home now."

"That's just it... yeah. That's just fucking it. You're home now... not a month ago or even three weeks ago when... when I..." she stared at him, blank, unable to finish her sentence.

"What could you have possibly done to upset yourself so?"

"I met some one." There. She said it. It was out now, out in the air like a foul stench, hovering over the both of them.

He blinked a couple of times. Looked at his bottle of water. Took a sip. "I see..." he said, almost to himself.

"You weren't here... I was lonely and... I couldn't take your not being here. I could smell you on your pillow at night. As comforting as that was, a girl can only do so much on her own..."

He struggled with the words. He'd been away for almost three months, of course she'd get fucking lonely. He felt an anger within him, but not at her. Management... that fucking Clive... "One last tour, Donal, old mate! Just one last tour..."

"Is this a serious thing, then?" He said, surprising even himself a the calmness of his voice. "Are you still seeing him?"

"No. And it's not like that..."

"So, it's over... he's not going to call... send some text code for a quick blow job... or drop by for an innocent chat..."

"No... no man will call, text or drop by. I promise."

"For certain you won't ever have contact with him again."

"No..." she struggled for how to say it. She took a sip of her water and just let the words out, "Donnie, Love, it wasn't a man."

He stared at her with a quizzical look. Those four little words hit him square between the eyes. His head was now quickly filling with confusion, and a little bit of relief. "You're telling me that you had sex with another woman, then?"

"What? You don't believe me? I'm sitting here naked, confessing my... my... my sin... baring my soul and..."

"No! Ginny... Love, no! I thought you was talking about another man."

"So you don't believe it was a woman?"

"I believe you! Ginny, I believe you! It's just that... well... I'm sorry that this has upset you so. If it was another guy, I'd be close to spitting fire... but... another woman is a whole different thing."

"You're not angry with me for having sex with some one else while you were gone?"

"Surprisingly... since you're telling me it was a woman... I could still rip Clive's throat out for booking us on such a tour... but I, somehow, can't be angry with you." He smiled a genuine smile at her. "Right now," he continued, "you're sitting too far away. So bring your sexy naked self over here and sit with me."

Ginny smiled back at him, got up from her chair, but instead of moving to sit next to him, she headed for the kitchen. She turned to face him, "I'll be right back," she smiled. "You've been in those clothes all day... why don't you get comfortable?"

In the kitchen, Ginny ran some water in the sink and quickly washed her tear streaked face. Was she feeling guilty about cheating even though Donnie seemed alright with her affair? Was her being with a woman really cheating to Donnie? Was Donnie really alright with her being with another woman? She returned to the lounge and Donnie was sitting on the couch, but as she'd advised, he'd also removed his clothes. She smiled as she saw his penis jump a little as she entered the room. She was going to make very good use of that quite soon.

"I'm so sorry that I..."

"Gin... I'm not upset. So don't fret yourself on it anymore. I honestly don't think I could handle it if it were another man... but another woman... seems so... so sexy. I mean... I didn't think you had any feelings for women."

"It took me a bit by surprise, too," she smiled, feeling much better than Donnie wasn't angry. She couldn't bare if she'd ever hurt him that way.

"Was it just the one time... did you see her more than once?"

"You want me to tell you about it?" she smiled.

Donnie pointed to his erection standing tall in his lap. "Does that answer your question?"